dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
