So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
