i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
When are your genitals available?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
