You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
