Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
