Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Randomize
