how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
