I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We got so high we made milksteak
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
