So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
