i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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