Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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