she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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