You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
