I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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