Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
