I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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