Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
