The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
