I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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