When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
