its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize