i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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