Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
