i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
