I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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