The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
