Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
