If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize