I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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