I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
