haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
