you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Are we still banned from the library?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
