it hurts more in the daytime
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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