You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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