Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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