Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
