WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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