Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
