he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
