he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
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Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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