No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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