i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
