we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The best revenge is premature balding
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
