Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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