when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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