idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
