I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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