I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
