Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
