I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
