woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
