So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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