Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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