You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wear drunk well.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
