i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
