she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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