Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
