My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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