I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
