Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
