I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
