ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
