Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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