Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
